Kimball's Birth

My friend Beki Phelps came over about 10:00 one morning to visit.  She had recently moved and we hadn't been able to see each other very much lately.  As her 9 year old Adia played with the kids Beki and I chatted.  Hyrum came home to go with me to a doctor's appointment.  I had planned on dropping my kids off at a friends house, but Beki said she would just stay at the house with them since she was already there.  At the doctor appointment, I was told I was dilated to a 4 but still very thick, so they didn't think Kimball would be coming anytime soon.  I asked her if she would strip my membranes to maybe get things going.  She told me the labor and delivery unit was pretty full and backed up because of the typhoon the week before (inductions and planned c-sections) so they would shoot her if she sent another pregnant lady into labor.  Because I was so thick though, she didn't think it would send me into labor so she did it while telling me she "wasn't stripping my membranes."  We went home and Beki and I continued to chat and let our kids play.  When it was close to dinner time we told Beki she should call her husband Flournoy and have him come over and they all could just stay for dinner.

Notice the blood down my arm from their "quick prick."

Hyrum was driving our friends the Hancock's to the airport (an hour drive each way) while the Phelps and I stayed home and chatted some more.  I started noticing some contractions, but they weren't regular, close together, or exactly how I remembered them feeling so I ignored them.  I teased the Phelps telling them they might not be leaving tonight since Jessica Hancock (who Hyrum was taking to the airport) was the one who was supposed to be staying with our kids while I have Kimball.  By the time Hyrum got back, the contractions were coming much more often and I was thinking more and more that I might need to go to the hospital.  I let him know that the contractions were about 2 minutes apart now and getting closer quickly.  Having been turned away once before, neither of us were quick to gather things and head to the hospital.  About 10 minutes later we had everything in the car and were on our way to the hospital which is about 25 minutes away.  Half way there I was to the point that I told Hyrum I was ready for the epidural.
We pulled into the almost empty parking lot and headed for the front doors.  Before we got there however I had to stop and kneel down on the curb because it was hurting so bad and I couldn't walk through it.  It was at this point that Hyrum knew I wasn't going to be getting my epidural.  He wisely kept his mouth shut.  We got up to the third floor and every few steps I would have to stop, hold onto the railing in the hallway and squat down.  Unfortunately the railing ended and I ended up stopping and getting on all fours a couple of times before getting to the labor and delivery area of the hospital.  I was admitted into triage as we waited for my doctor.  I was getting really really uncomfortable at this point.  They said they needed to take my blood and run a test which would take about 20 minutes before I could get my epidural.  The doctor came in to check me at about 10:30 before they could take my blood and let me know that I was dilated to an 8 and 90% effaced.  In terror I asked her if that meant I would not be able to get my epidural.  She must have seen the terror in my eyes as she assured me (aka, completely lied to me) that I would have time and they were getting the anesthesiologist as soon as my blood work came back.  I told Hyrum I couldn't continue with the pain for 20 more minutes.  It felt like that would be an eternity to me.  They were hurrying to take my blood as quickly as they could doing a "quick stick" and spraying my blood all down my arm.
Because they were hurrying so much I figured that meant there was still a chance for me to get my epidural.  It was getting truly unbearable as they quickly wheeled me out of triage and into a labor room.  I was sitting on the edge of the bed with Hyrum standing in front of me and I grabbed his belt as hard as I could with each contraction and in a panic kept repeating, "No, no, no, no!  Hyrum!  No!"  I didn't notice, but apparently up to this point, they had been setting up for the birth.  I started feeling pressure and franticly let the nurse and doctor know as they continued hurriedly setting everything up.  The doctor asked if I still wanted the epidural or if I just wanted to push and be done.  I wanted the drugs!  I didn't want to push!  I was so delusional at the time I didn't realize she knew I wasn't getting my epidural and was trying to trick me into being okay going natural.  Tricky tricky indeed.  They had me lay down to be checked then I tried to sit up because laying down during a contraction was awful, but the nurse and Hyrum grabbed me and exclaimed, "Where are you going?!"

"She's coming!"  I announced in a panicky voice.  "Yes she is!"  My doctor kept repeating after me.  I am going so quickly they don't even have time to put my feet up into the stirrups.  I have people on either side of me holding my legs up into position.  She asked if I want her to break my water because it hasn't broken yet then tells me to push.  I push and what I think is water explodes out of me and all over my super nice and competent male nurse.  I am in full on panic mode now and I swear I cannot breathe.  They tell me I can breathe because I am breathing but I keep insisting I can't breathe.  They put a mask over my mouth and nose and give me oxygen which helps.  Not so much because of the oxygen I don't think, but having something physically on my face that I can somewhat (delusionally) focus on.  Hyrum is trying to keep me calm through all of this.  He asks me to look at him and all I can do is shake my head no.  He asks if I am mad at him and again I shake my head no.  I just can't look at him or anything in particular.  I just have to keep my head straight and not think.

The view from my window.  Sweet!

They tell me to push and I am beyond terrified.  I have always told people that I get quieter when I am in pain.  Which is generally true.  Apparently when I am in an unbelievable amount of pain and scared out of my whits, I do the opposite.  As I screamed through the pushes and the oxygen mask, Hyrum kept trying to tell me that pushing works better if I put my energy into the push and not the scream so I should try not screaming.  Needless to say, that did not go over very well.  I actually did try for one push to hold the scream in and put it into the push.  It didn't help.  My nurse kept telling me "You're doing great mom."  To be honest, I didn't believe him and thought that was just what he says to all of his patients to try and keep them trying.  After 3 contractions of pushing, she finally came out at 10:51pm.  They laid her right on me, but I was so tired and out of it that I mostly thought of the fact that I was still in my normal clothes and they were getting a lot of gunk on my shirt and then that I was too tired and exhausted mentally and physically to hold her.

I wanted them to just give her to Hyrum, but at the same time I felt like I was supposed to hold her.  They eventually took her away to clean her up and do her vitals.  After everything calmed down I asked the nurse if that was my water breaking earlier.  He informed me that it was not.  That poor nurse got peed all over.  Luckily he was really nice about it and said it wasn't the first time.  I still apologized profusely.  He again told me that I did a really great job, and this time I actually believed him.  Kimball Olivia Bronson weighed in at 7 lbs 7 ozs and 19.75 inches long.  She was born July 11th, 3 days before her due date.  At about 3 or 4 the next morning, I woke up, walked over to Hyrum's pullout chair/bed thing and started crying telling him I have never been so scared in my life.  I have never had any desire to give birth without an epidural before, and have no desire to do it in the future.  But I guess at least now I can say that I have done it.